Tag Archives: learning

Wisdom for your Pre-teen: Mom Knowledge to Share with our Kids

We all love our kids. There is nothing we wouldn’t do for them. But as they get older it is more and more difficult to share our wisdom and knowledge with them. Especially in this age of technology when instant gratification is king. Our mom cards look very flimsy compared to what a friend saw on the internet. After all, if its on youtube it MUST be true. But the fact of the matter is, it usually isn’t.

Life gets rocky hen you hit those pre-teen years, and those come earlier and earlier now. But there are a few tips we can share that might prove to be very important.

  1. Keeping the communication open with our kids makes a difference. No matter what never shut down a conversation. Let them know that even if you do not know the answers, or if the subject makes you feel uncomfortable, you are there to help them. Because if they cannot come to us, they will go to the internet, or a friend. And we all know that it will not end well.
  2. The internet is FOREVER. Make sure they understand that once it is on the internet or in writing, it is there, and you CANNOT take it back. We also are more willing to put things in writing that we would never say out loud. Its the nature of text. In the “old days” we wrote in diaries and journals. The written word gives us anonymity, it gives us strength, and it eliminates fear. It gives us the freedom to say things we would never admit out loud. So when you talk with your pre-teen make sure they know that if they wouldn’t say it to someones face, they shouldn’t  write it down. If it isn’t something they would be willing to have handed back to them in 15 years and read in front of someone important to them (mom, dad, a spouse, their own kids, etc.) then it isn’t something they should write.
  3. Even though our friends may be cheering for us to do something and it feels like we are being validated for it, that applause and validation can be misleading. Even if someone is cheering you on the actions can still be wrong, harmful, or dangerous. Think about how you would feel if you did this in front of a parent, sibling, or grandparent. Would you still hear cheering if they were watching? Is this something you will be proud of when someone IMPORTANT hears about it?
  4. Labels are not permanent. You may be a popular kid, you may be a nerd, but those things are just momentary. They do not carry with you. They are not your identity. You will grow, you will change, the things that are cool now will not be in a few months or years. Everything grows, changes, and shifts. Try not to allow those labels change who you know you are. You may be good at sports now, but when you grow you may lose strength, you may have an injury. Those things will change how you play, how you interact. But they will not change how you treat people, how you learn, how you are motivated, or how hard you work. Do not let those labels make you feel small. They will not be around forever.
  5. Do not ever put someone else down. Everyone has their chance to be on top, and everyone has their chance to be on the bottom. The world is a giant spinning wheel. Remember when you are on the top who helped you get there, and who is currently below you.  Because one day they wheel will spin and you will not have control over how they treat you. Treat everyone well and when the wheel spins you won’t be fearful of the bottom.

 

Mom Hacks: Kids That Listen

Listening. That almost seems like a mom’s wishlist. It can be difficult, nay impossible sometimes to get your kids to pay attention to you, let alone actually listen and hear what you want them to do. With young kids I find it is even more difficult. My toddler is especially hard, but my 5 year old who usually listens well has recently begun regressing in the “paying attention” area.

Every child is different and it can be so hard to find what works fro every child. What works for one of my kids does not work for another one of my kids. So I have learned to pick and choose my battles and to pay attention to my child’s specific needs.

Another tool I have found useful is changing the way I speak and listen as well. As an adult I don’t enjoy being told what to do, I like being told why I am doing something. So when I speak to my children I try to remember they are not inferior, they are not robots, they are people. They also happen to be smaller versions of me. So I keep in mind my own temperament when I try to address issues with them.

All of this can be hard to do when you are pressed for time, tired, or frustrated yourself. So Let’s remember to take a step-back and breathe. There are some fabulous strategies and tips on Youtube from Child Specialists. Try checking them out as well and adding what works for you and your family.

Here are a few great Youtube Channels:

Dana Obleman What to do when kids won’t listen

Ted Talks How to Get Kids to Listen  

Debbie Zeichner Gentle Tips for Getting Kids to Listen

Shadow Drawing: Outdoor Activities

Are you looking for more activities for your little ones at home? This fun activity is something they can do with very little help. Shadow drawing. Now you can show your kids how the light from the sun changes our shadows throughout the day. Thank you Rookie Parenting for this super-cool idea. Check out the full tutorial here.

Light travels in a straight line, when it is obstructed by an object it will create a shadow of the object. In order to show this unique result simply gather some fun objects to obstruct the light. You can use toys to create this fun experiment. Grab some tall, short, large, and small toys to give varying heights, depths, and shapes.

Use a piece of paper or place them on the concrete and create shadows on the cement. You can then use a crayon, or chalk if you are drawing on the cement. Trace the outline of the objects and mark what time of day you captured the shadow.

In a few hours come back to the objects and see what changed. Trace the shadow once more. How has it changed? As the suns position in the sky changes so will the way it casts a shadow on the toys.

You can follow the suns movements throughout the day and you will see how the length of the shadow changes as the day goes on.

Learn more about shadows here.