Tag Archives: relationships

Sibling Rivalry: Normal or Bad?

I have three brothers. One older, and two younger. My entire childhood was spent with at least 2 boys if not three in my house at all times. I was never an only child. I always had a friend to play with, and I ALWAYS had someone to argue with. My Mom always joked that she could never have all four kids happy at the same time. There was ALWAYS an odd man out.

It is normal to have some rivalry and arguing going on between siblings. After all, we are human. No matter what we find ways to be different, ornery, and selfish in one way or another. The more time we spend together the more we will find a way to cause an issue with someone. It happens in every facet of life. Work-life, home-life, and in our relationships. So why would it be any different with our siblings?

Sibling rivalry does not need to be a bad thing. Here are a few ways it will help to have a “little” sibling rivalry.

1. Arguments are arguments. They can be settled, it is a way for kids to learn and practice being adults and having to deal with not seeing eye-to-eye with someone else. We should let these smaller disagreements be teaching tools to show kids how to find a middle ground. But we do not want to see them escalate into full-blown physical fights. Conflict resolution is a very important life-skill. So as long as no one is trying to kill or maim someone else, let those little squabbles be the teaching tool they are.

2. Nurture the positive! When you see your kids getting along well and doing nice things for one another, praise them for it! Give them opportunities to do good things for each other. When one has a birthday or reason to celebrate like a graduation take the others to find them a special present, or make them a special card. Promote their ability to praise one another and see each other’s strengths. This can also help them to see their own strengths and see the importance in showing the people we love how much they mean to us.

3. Spend some alone time with each child. This can be difficult, but it really only takes a little while. You don’t have to disappear with each kid for hours or days. Sometimes 15 minutes or half an hour is all that is necessary to make each child realize how important they are. Go for a walk, let one child help you make dinner. Sit with them and chat about their day. By showing them how important they are as individuals they will spend less time fighting over your affection and will spend more time building their own relationship with each other and with you without fearing that they are not as loved as their sibling.

Sibling rivalry is normal in many ways. It is when it gets to be too volatile that we need to pay attention and intervene. So watch and listen, but try not to worry too much.

Best Boy Books: When Friendship Followed Me Home

Preteens and tweens can be very difficult periods of development, not just for our kids, but for us as well. There seems to be a gap that develops between parents and their kids during this important step in development. Many of us remember it well, after all, we went through it as well. Only this time, we are on the other end. You know which end, the end that has no idea what anything feels like. Haha. Yep. We know nothing, again. I remember being a tweet and wondering what my place in the world was, would be, and how to navigate it. I remember my parents were NO help and just did NOT have a clue what I was going through. Many don’t you ever wish you could backpedal and fix everything? Hindsight is 20/20.

When Friendship Followed me home

But now we are on the other side. We know it i survivable, we even have a few tricks up our sleeve. But no one wants to hear that. So instead we try to throw our two-cents in when we can. In as many ways as we can without being caught. This is one of those ways. This book, When Friendship Followed Me Home, is about Ben, a young boy that is so absorbed in his routine and his life of sci-fi-fi books and foster homes that he doesn’t feel a connection to anything. But too something, or someone, is going to reintroduce him to the world of people, love, and family. The story follows Ben on his journey with his new friend(s) and along the way we learn more about Ben, his trials and tribulations, and those of his friends going through the same time period in their lives but with a very different journey. The books shows how parents and kids interact, how kids interact with their peers, and it shows unconditional love. While we cannot promise that it holds some special secret to dealing with your tween or preteen we can tell you it will open up a world of conversations with them, and perhaps give them a better understanding of their own journey.